WHEN LAMBS BECOME LIONS -- a film documentary on the human/wildlife conflict in Africa, unbiasedly documenting real stories of men on the front lines of the poaching crisis.  I instantly knew this would be a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a part of a project this special and powerful.  To do it with a fresh team of young talent made it that much more gold.

After this beautiful project in Kenya, I felt inspired to be open and vulnerable with myself about where I want my work to go.  Vulnerability and honesty in themselves inspire me, because they are usually precursors to some kind of change that your soul desires.  They reveal the insecurities that are dead weights woven in our own fiber, originally conceived as standards for protection, that ultimately only succeed in preventing new fruit from blooming.

Since I started photography, I have focused mainly on the technicality of everything, from studio lighting to retouching. Coming from knowing nothing, I felt like that was what I had to focus on learning rather than paying attention to the mysteries of what was unwritten.  Even people I interned with and other places I learned, everything was about control and quality. Lots of rooted tripods and scripted setups.  Without even realizing it, I’ve created some sort of standard in my mind that somewhat aligns with that influence. But the truth is, the more time that goes on, I notice it whispering feelings of drained and fearful emptiness, at times.

I’ve come to the seemingly obvious realization that the more I deny myself, the less I know myself and the less I experience what I’m capable of.  Overprotecting gifts of any kind does not make them shinier, rather they become dull and underutilized, eventually growing to be timid, fragile and ill-equipped.  It's more beautiful to have a broken gift, resiliently pieced back together to become something unpredictably unique, well-adapted to gladly welcome the unknown.

I saw some of this freedom in the guys on my team.  Through their music, their conversations, personalities, style, their ideas and the way they would shoot.  Even their crudeness. It made my heart flicker.  It goes without saying that I was moved and inspired by the people we met and documented.  But what made the most impact on me was the team, even though it wasn't perfect... we are humans.  And that's really the point anyways. I felt unsettled at the realization that I'm missing out on the creative collaboration that seems to be a normal part of their lives.  I didn't realize how isolated I felt in my career until now, but take joy knowing that it motivates a new and exciting chapter.  I noticed individual things in each of the guys that I really loved and appreciated.

As long as you have an open mind and heart, everything you do offers opportunities to learn, improve, give and receive.  Every international project that I’ve been a part of, I’ve grown so much in personal ways, each time becoming a stronger and more independent person, with a humbler appreciation for people across the world.  I want to feel those same growing pains here and beyond.

Here we are, frolicking around in between our agenda.  

Being on a film production was a new experience for me, and I loved it.  The collaborative dynamic felt like something that I was designed for.  The project was an incredible opportunity, and I hope to do a lot more of this kind of thing in the future. This particular story and setting, as well as all the moving parts involved, were so energizing to me and right up my alley of passions.  I also love how our team was so young but so dedicated and mature in their roles. It was so special to meet a lot of the wildlife rangers from Big Life Foundation and Ol Pejeta, and of course Sudan, the last male northern white rhino in the world.  I'm a huge animal lover, to the point where I can't vocally keep it in; I just melt. With the time I spent with the rangers, I got a taste of some of their backgrounds and stories and got to know their personalities.  I wanted to pour as much warm attention and passion into our time together, whether it was a few hours or a few days. We had a lot of fun.

I wasn't with the team as they filmed the majority of the time because it's important to keep crews small and intimate with who they are filming. Since I was doing photos, we worked at separate times. I did miss them during the days we weren't together, but looked forward to them coming home every day to hear about all the stories and people.  I learned a lot from them simply by listening and observing, whether it was through talks in our rooms or while they were filming. The whole time, I was eager to contribute as much as I could, so if I wasn't on location during filming, or on days I wasn't doing ranger photo shoots, I tried to look for other ways to help in any way possible.  Honestly, it felt great and inspired me to want to learn about filmmaking, which I hadn't thought much about before this project.  I would really love to expand my skill set to be able to offer a broader value to projects such as this. Overall, I've learned more from this project than any project I've worked on by far, in terms of what goes into productions, the skills required, and all the moving parts.  I'm really grateful to be on board with this incredibly talented group. Can't wait to see all that this beautiful project becomes... here's just a snap of some days there, filming, playing tag, drone flying, etc.